PoochyB’s Flick Reviews

I now know why I don’t like horror flicks. They just don’t do it for me… Sure, there’s the jumpy music. But that’s about it. The story wasn’t that scary. Two people, Scott Speedman (of TV’s Felicity and the Underworld trilogy) and Liv Tyler (from Inventing the Abbotts and Armageddon) spend a night at a cabin in the woods. They get harassed by three masked strangers. And that’s pretty much the gist of it.

The two characters do a pretty good job of acting scared. Liv Tyler and her whispy voice and all… But really, there’s just no story behind it. You don’t find out why they were assaulted. You don’t find out who the assailants are. There are just so many loose ends.

The Strangers is written and directed by Bryan Bertino, who’s done two other movies I’ve never heard of. He’s no good.

Not bad. Not bad at all. If you liked Infernal Affairs and the star-studded Hollywood-remake of it, The Departed (with Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, and Mark Wahlberg), you’ll probably like We Own the Night. No surprise that Mark Wahlberg is in this one as well.

Joaquin Phoenix is the star here. The first film I saw him in was Inventing the Abbotts. On an off-tangent here, Inventing the Abbotts was a revolutionary film of sorts for me because it introduced me not only to Joaquin Phoenix, but also Billy Crudup, Liv Tyler, and Jennifer Connelly (one of my favorites). He then went on to star opposite Vince Vaughn in Return to Paradise as Anne Heche’s brother. You probably also know him as the bad guy from Gladiator, with Russell Crowe. This guy is one amazing actor. He’s got this brooding attitude that the scar on his lip works well with.

Best line of the movie was when Robert Duvall, as NYC police chief, said, “If you piss in your pants, you can only stay warm for so long.” It means “do things the right way and don’t take shortcuts.” At least that’s what I got out of it.

Phoenix runs a club where mobs hang out and deal drugs. His dad (Duvall) and brother (Wahlberg) are NYPD. They make life difficult for Phoenix. Shit goes down and Wahlberg gets shot by a mobster. To exact revenge, Phoenix becomes an informant. Oh, Eva Mendes plays his girlfriend. She oozes sex appeal, but I’m not that big of a fan. She’s probably best known as Denzel Washington’s baby-mama in Training Day or Will Smith’s better half in Hitch.

The action’s decent, probably because I was expecting it the whole time and received it only sparingly. The Russian mob portrayal in this film is easily outdone by Viggo Mortensen character (by himself) in Eastern Promises.

We Own the Night was written and directed by James Gray, who also wrote and directed Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix in The Yards. I’ve never seen that one, but will probably check it out after watching this one.

Duvall “If you piss in your pants, you can only stay warm for so long.”