PoochyB’s Flick Reviews

I liked this one, actually. There wasn’t much to the story. It’s about a boy (Rodrigo Noya) who lives with his grandmother (Carmen Maura). His mom has left him and his abusive father (played by Alejandro Agresti, who also wrote and directed). The father always has new girlfriends and tells his son that “he could marry this one and that she just might become his mother.”

A sad story, actually. The acting is good. Rodrigo Noya was 8 at the time of shooting, and evokes sympathy like no other with his character. The father’s love interest is Leticia, played by Argentinian beauty Julieta Cardinali. There’s a side plot of matchmaking here. The boy befriends a local drunk who also happens to be a pianist (played by Mex Urtizberea). The film ends with a faux serendipitous moment when the pianist meets Leticia under boy-Cupid’s eager eye.

Valentin was a bit slow, and it’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. It was similar to The Chorus (2004) in some ways. But since this film came out first, I’m guessing The Chorus took a page from this script.

Troy is probably one of the most star-studded films I’ve ever seen. I’ll start off with the big names first. Brad Pitt is Achilles. Eric Bana and Orlando Bloom are Hector and Paris, the princes of Troy. No further introductions needed for those three. Brian Cox (from The Bourne Supremacy) is Agamemnon. Peter O’Toole (one of the most celebrated actors, EVER), is Priam. Diane Kruger (of Wicker Park and National Treasure) is Helen. Saffron Burrows (who I loved in Deep Blue Sea and more recently in The Bank Job) plays Andromache. And Rose Byrne (also from Wicker Park) is Briseis. That about sums up the star power of Troy. Oh wait. I almost forgot about director Wolfgang Peterson, who is a blockbuster magnet. The Perfect Storm, Air Force One, Outbreak, and In the Line of Fire are some of his films.

The battle scenes of Hollywood yore have pretty much been abandoned. It’s probably due to a matter of budget. With technology in this day and age, it’s probably more cost-effective to have CGI recreate the thousands of soldiers needed to fill a war film. And the fact of the matter is, it’s probably more visually effective anyway.

The one-on-one duel between Pitt’s Achilles and Bana’s Hector is pretty much what did it for me… Not so much the action, although that was pretty awesome too, but just the emotional anticipation leading up to it. Bloom’s Paris wimped out of a fight already. Pitt’s cousin gets killed at the hands of Bana. And the revenge is sweet.

If you know your history, you know the story. Paris steals Helen from Agamemnon’s brother, Menelaus (played by Brendan Gleeson from Braveheart and Lake Placid), and takes her back to Troy (hence Helen of Troy). Agamemnon then wages war on the Trojans in probably the most epic battle ever recorded in history. Achilles, wanting his name in the history books, fights on the Greek side and dominates everyone. That’s pretty much all there is to it.

Not a “must see,” but very entertaining. Scantily-clad men for the ladies, and scantily-clad ladies for the men. A treat for all.

Originally a book by Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner was a highly anticipated film for me. The verdict, as with many book-to-movie films, is disappointing. I certainly can’t blame it on the writing. In this case, The Kite Runner is one of my favorite reads of all time. And the acting was good, if not great. Expecially the two young boys who played Young Amir (Zekeria Ebrahimi) and Young Hassan (Ahmad Khan Mahmoodzada).

Playing Amir’s father is Homayoun Ershadi (who is pretty awesome in here). The main character (adult Amir) is played by Khalid Abdalla. And his wife is played by Atossa Leoni. I’ve never heard of any of these actors, but they did a great job. So I guess the blame goes to the director, Marc Forster, who also did Stranger Than Fiction, Finding Neverland, and Monster’s Ball.

I’m going to skip most of the plot points here. If you’ve read the book, you already know them. And if you haven’t read the book, I’d recommend you read it first before watching the film.

The story takes place in Kabul, Afghanistan and San Francisco, California. It’s about a boy’s childhood journey with his friend/servant.

Amir lives up to the cowardliness displayed in the novel. Throughout the entire movie, I just kept wanting to kick his ass. And the beating he receives toward the end of the film by the hands of a childhood bully does not do justice to all the wrongs he commits.

Anyhow, the film felt low-budget, but was decently shot. It’s worth a gander.

I love this movie!

Nothing to Lose is one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen. I’m not a big fan of Martin Lawrence, but I have to give credit where credit is due. Sure, he usually plays the comic-relief sidekick, but he’s usually in decent films (Big Momma’s House being the exception). Bad Boys, Life, Blue Streak, National Security, and Wild Hogs were all pretty funny.

In this movie, the real funnyman is Tim Robbins (one of my favorite actors due to his performance in The Shawshank Redemption alongside Morgan Freeman). Robbins is also in I.Q., Arlington Road, Antitrust (he’s Bill Gates), Mystic River, and Catch a Fire. Robins comes home from work to find (what he thinks is) his wife cheating on him with his boss. With “nothing to lose,” he goes on a rampage about town until he gets jack-attempted by Lawrence, who plays a common thief.

The two go on this escapade, initially hating each other’s guts, but eventually getting to know and like one another. Kelly Preston and Rebecca Gayheart also have minor roles in here. The film is written and directed by Steve Oedekerk, who also has a cameo role as the security guard with the crazy dance moves!!! His resume include consultant for Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and director of Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.

Funny director, funny actors, hilarious movie!

Ashton Kutcher works out.

Cameron Diaz works out too.

The two star in What Happens in Vegas…, a cliched comedy about getting drunk and married in Vegas, hitting a slot machine jackpot, and having to work on the marriage to earn their share of the $3 million jackpot. It had its moments. Moments of hilarity and moments of tedium.

Kutcher, of TV’s That ’70s Show and The Butterfly Effect, didn’t really show much acting prowess in this role. It’s just a more grown-up version of his character from the show. Cameron neither. She’s the same character she played in Charlie’s Angels. While she’s been in superior roles in the past (A Life Less Ordinary, Any Given Sunday), …Vegas didn’t really give her the chance to shine. It just wasn’t that kind of movie.

Dennis Farina was in here. Typecasted, but funny nonetheless. As was Michelle Krusiec, who I really liked in Saving Face. Queen Latifah had a small role as a marriage counselor, and Treat Williams played Kutcher’s dad.

As screwball comedies go, this one wasn’t bad. But it was cheesy.

I really liked this film. It’s kind of a softcore pornography flick, what with all the models getting naked and stuff. It was shot in a documentary format by director and star Shawn Regruto.

The story is basically about Shawn and his relationship with his model girlfriend, Athena Currey. Shawn is a New York-based photographer who documents the evolution of their relationship as well as their interactions with other fellow urbanites.

So let’s try and wrap our heads around this: Dude’s a photographer. He dates a fashion model. He takes pictures of her all day long. Do I really have to explain why this film resonates so deeply with me?

There’s really no point in discussing the acting. It’s reality-filmmaking. Everyone goes by their real names. The two other models I’ve heard of are Carmen Kass and Mini Anden. So, clearly not much acting going on. Nevertheless, Point & Shoot was as entertaining as it was scintillating, sort of in the sense of Ethan Hawke’s Before Sunrise (dialogue-driven).

This was Shawn Regruto’s directorial debut. He’s got cinematography credit for a few other films since then. I think I’ll check them out.

Summer 2008 starts off with a “Bang!” Blockbusters are always interesting. There’s the anticipation. All the hype. The crowded theaters. The box office make-or-break report.

It was a bit different for me…

I happened upon Iron Man on a Saturday night. Me, and nine other people in the entire theater. No, it wasn’t opening weekend. But it was the weekend following.

Robert Downey Jr.’s getting it together. And I’m happy for him. I’ve been a fan since his Ally McBeal days. Actually, before that, since U.S. Marshals (The Fugitive sequel). He was hit-or-miss for a while with Wonder Boys and Bowfinger. But a couple of his latest ones, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Good Night, and Good Luck, and Zodiac have been surprisingly enjoyable. I guess he and director Jon Favreau work well together.

Downey’s the slick-talking head of a major U.S. weapons manufacturer. Gwyneth Paltrow (swoon!) plays his assistant. He gets kidnapped by terrorists and has an epiphanic eye-opening. Instead of making weapons that end up in the hands of terrorists, he’ll combat terrorism head-on in his Iron Man suit. Terrence Howard (of Crash) is kind of a military liaison. And Jeff Bridges (who’s been in more movies than I care to recount, but more notably Blown Away, The Big Lebowski, and Seabiscuit) is the bad guy.

If you’re a Marvel fan and have followed the comics since you were a kid, you know the story.

Leslie Bibb (from The Skulls, and TV’s Popular) has a small part as a reporter.

This is the first Jon Favreau-directed film I’ve seen, and I’m looking forward to more. Though his status will forever be placed on a pedastal for producing Swingers.

Guy Ritchie’s Snatch is one of my all-time favorite comedies. But Revolver is all style and hardly any substance. It’s another gangster bit. No surprise there. It stars, and is narrated by, Jason Statham. Also no surprise there. What surprised me is just how off-track it got. It’s like The Beach, with Leonardo DiCaprio and that hot French girl, Virginie Ledoyen. Remember that one? Remember the videogame bit? Kind of like that. It was just too messy.

Jason Statham’s a decent enough actor. He was hilarious in Snatch, and pretty funny in here too. But there’s too much monologue for my taste. Ray Liotta’s alright as well. He’s been in a ton of flicks; but aside from Goodfellas and Heartbreakers, none too great. The other two actors you might know are Vincent Pastore (from The Sopranos) and Andre Benjamin (aka Andre 3000). Andre’s not bad.

The substance, if it can be called that, of this film is sort of in the style of Lucky Number Slevin. There’s pretty good story development, and I like how stuff unfolds as the movie goes on. I’m also a big fan of twist endings. But that’s also where this movie faulted. Too many folds and twists. I’m not saying Ritchie can’t pull it off… I’m just saying he didn’t do it here.

Al Pacino! What’s gotten into you?!?

I consider Al The Godfather of acting. The 7-time Oscar-nominated, and 1-time Oscar-winning, actor is at the top of my “Favorite Actors” list. So it completely befuddles me why he would star in a movie like this. Perhaps it’s because his name is already etched in the Acting Hall of Fame stone. Or it’s because he knows that no matter what he does, his legacy will remain. But why???

Al’s a womanizing university professor of forensic psychiatry in Seattle. Alicia Witt (from TV’s Law & Order: Criminal Intent and Ally McBeal), Leelee Sobieski (of Deep Impact, Joan of Arc, and Here on Earth), and Benjamin McKenzie (The OC) are a few of his students. The bad guy is played by Neal McDonough (also the bad guy from Walking Tall).

I’m not going to get into the meat of it because it’s not worth my time. 88 Minutes is a cat and mouse thriller with bad acting, bad directing, and bad writing. I did not, for a moment, sit on the edge of my seat or anything like that.

Director Jon Avnet is losing his touch. I loved his work in the TV series Conviction, Red Corner, and Up Close & Personal.

Not bad. Not bad at all. If you liked Infernal Affairs and the star-studded Hollywood-remake of it, The Departed (with Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, and Mark Wahlberg), you’ll probably like We Own the Night. No surprise that Mark Wahlberg is in this one as well.

Joaquin Phoenix is the star here. The first film I saw him in was Inventing the Abbotts. On an off-tangent here, Inventing the Abbotts was a revolutionary film of sorts for me because it introduced me not only to Joaquin Phoenix, but also Billy Crudup, Liv Tyler, and Jennifer Connelly (one of my favorites). He then went on to star opposite Vince Vaughn in Return to Paradise as Anne Heche’s brother. You probably also know him as the bad guy from Gladiator, with Russell Crowe. This guy is one amazing actor. He’s got this brooding attitude that the scar on his lip works well with.

Best line of the movie was when Robert Duvall, as NYC police chief, said, “If you piss in your pants, you can only stay warm for so long.” It means “do things the right way and don’t take shortcuts.” At least that’s what I got out of it.

Phoenix runs a club where mobs hang out and deal drugs. His dad (Duvall) and brother (Wahlberg) are NYPD. They make life difficult for Phoenix. Shit goes down and Wahlberg gets shot by a mobster. To exact revenge, Phoenix becomes an informant. Oh, Eva Mendes plays his girlfriend. She oozes sex appeal, but I’m not that big of a fan. She’s probably best known as Denzel Washington’s baby-mama in Training Day or Will Smith’s better half in Hitch.

The action’s decent, probably because I was expecting it the whole time and received it only sparingly. The Russian mob portrayal in this film is easily outdone by Viggo Mortensen character (by himself) in Eastern Promises.

We Own the Night was written and directed by James Gray, who also wrote and directed Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix in The Yards. I’ve never seen that one, but will probably check it out after watching this one.

Duvall “If you piss in your pants, you can only stay warm for so long.”